The Ultimate Guide to Self-Confidence: 3 Helpful Perspectives

What is it that’s stopping you from chasing your ambitions? Is it society’s negative view of your passions? Is it the perceived unlikelihood of a worthy, financial ROI? Or is it because you don’t believe you have what it takes yet? For most, It’s the latter. It’s hard to chase the things you want in life because most people just wait until they feel like they’re “ready”. Self-Confidence, and affirmation comes from actually doing the things that scare you. For me, making a really tough, life-changing decision, moving out on my own, and starting completely over in my life absolutely terrified me, but it has been a huge source of personal affirmation in my own abilities and cognition. However, it didn’t start this way; It started with small, tiny steps of slowly dipping my toes into the metaphorical water which was JUST outside of my comfort zone.

I knew what I wanted in life, I knew I wanted to do something significant, I knew I wanted more than just the monotony of the day-to-day routine but I had no idea how to get there. It all started with just one small, tiny decision to just “try”. This lead to me landing an upper level job without the preferred pre-requisites, experience, and requirements. I couldn’t believe it. The job was terrifying because I didn’t believe I was worth it. At first, I had to constantly remind myself that they chose me for a reason, and that it wasn’t some sort of freak accident that I ended up here. Before I knew it I was mastering the skillsets needed and transforming the productivity and culture of my workplace! I was affirmed in the act of doing the thing, not before doing the “thing”. Had I waited to feel this level of belief in myself before taking this leap of faith, I would not be in the position I am in today.

This is where I get to my point:

1. You must know that you are already equipped with what you need to accomplish many great things in your life, everything else you need can only be obtained along the way. Trust me, you won’t feel like you’re capable of doing it until you actually give it a go! Even if you fail, you are affirmed in the act of simply putting yourself out there knowing you still acted in spite of how much it scared the sh*t out of you. Do yourself and your self-worth a favor: do at least one thing that scares you a day, even if it’s small! Send that text message, apply for that job, go try that new Zumba class. Before you know it, those actions will seem feeble, and your capability for stepping outside your comfort zone will grow. With every leap of Faith, you will find that you’re able to leap further, and further… With every shot in the dark you will find that you’re able to walk further, and further outside of that comfort zone. It’s not an overnight accomplishment, it takes compounding.

So what are you waiting for? Your excuses are feeble. Who cares about your circumstances? 2. Don’t filter your personal journey through society’s standards; it’s not about the money, the looks, or the perceived prerequisites- it’s about who you are! Look how far that has gotten the average human; they’re zombies with no ambition, or repressed dreams with unfulfilled, and regretful hearts. For example: I want to be a writer, it is my dream to be a published novelist, BUT, I don’t have any technical writing experience or education. But who freaking cares, it’s my truest passion. There are no rules that say you HAVE to have extensive, fiction-writing, education to be a good author, and even at that, I don’t need the accolades or the labels to do it; all the information I need is available at my fingertips. Most of the education you need for whatever you want to accomplish is just a google search away. So it’s not the education you’re lacking, it’s the Cajones (Pardon my French… see what I did there?). It’s my calling, I can feel it deep in my bones, it is what sets my soul on fire- you could have all the accolades in the world to be whatever your dream of, but you won’t be successful if you lack the passion. This applies in everything in life.

3. Personal affirmation and self-confidence are the by-products of the act of pursuing your desires. Here’s a general flow chart of what personal growth and the development of  your self-confidence looks like:

You muster up enough courage to do a “thing” –> You do the “thing” –> You look back and realize holy crap I did the “thing” –> you feel proud of yourself for doing the “thing” because you did it in spite of your doubt and fear of the “thing” –> You believe in yourself and your abilities more –> You feel more capable of doing other “things” that are more ballsy than the last “thing” –> you surprise yourself again and begin to realize this is what you’re made of –> Your confidence attracts other people to you –> You begin to see external affirmation –> You become even more aware of yourself and your abilities –> You encourage others to do their “thing” because you remember how HUGE the initial “thing” seemed to you –> More people gravitate towards you and you live a fulfilling life with strong personal values, self -worth, and relationships.

This is an ongoing process of personal growth. So get hungry for your dreams. Find ways to feed your ambitions every day, because just like any living thing on earth, if you don’t feed it, it will die. That’s the unfortunate truth when it comes to pursuing your vision; the best time to start doing something about it will always be “NOW”, no waiting, no procrastinating, no repressing, just make the decision to do it. That’s all it takes, just one decision. Then ACT!

In Christ,



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