Why being single is the most important time in your life:

This post is inspired by the 20 minute, crazy person, solo dance party I just had in my dining room. If any of you have ever been in a long term relationship you know that
it’s hard to separate yourself and your identity from the opposing party when it’s all said and done. If you’re anything like me, leaving someone will send you on a roller coaster of emotions. This rollercoaster is full of twisting mood swings, cork screwing second thoughts, and drops full of disappointment. It’s hard to accept that to a few people in this world, you’re going to be pretty much the worst person ever

Everyone thinks it sucks getting dumped, and while that is certainly true, standing on the other side sucks just as bad. Leaving someone is hard, someone who is so certain about you, someone who thinks they can count on you, and then, despite their confidence in you, you let them down. You never want to disappoint people you love, but there are pivotal moments in your life when you have to truly put yourself and your happiness first, and, unfortunately sometimes there are casualties.

This is when you begin to learn to love yourself, when you begin to believe that you’re capable, and worthy, and that your happiness isn’t contingent on a significant other. This is when you remember what it feels like to genuinely put yourself first. Your happiness should be contingent on your ability to love yourself. Walking away from a 5-year relationship was an extremely challenging time in my life, and in fact, I still go through the emotional ups and downs associated with the reality that I’m living in. 5 years is a long time, and when you’re standing on the outside looking back, you realize that you don’t even remember what it’s like to be only you, and if you do, that person is since long gone because of the life you have experienced between then and now.

It’s a new chapter, it’s an opportunity for you to go out into the world alone and do things for only you. Your time to be alone might be extremely limited, you never know when that one, true, right person for you is going to walk into your life. So hold onto this time you have for only you. Be selfish, be careless, and most importantly be free. Greet every day with a smile, and delight in the opportunity and the uncertainty that the day holds. You truly never know what’s going to happen.

It’s important that you take this time to learn about yourself, and what makes you happy so that you can effectively communicate it to another person someday down the road. For now, pursue whatever it is that sets your soul on fire, and if you don’t know what that is, FIND it, life isn’t going to live itself, and you can’t wait around for things to happen to you; go out and make things happen. Feed your individualism, challenge yourself, step outside of your comfort and find out TRULY what you are made of. If you have doubts, that’s fine, but suffocate them by staring them dead in the face while acting on what they’re attempting to prevent you from doing. Win people. Go out there and make a conscious decision to win, all it takes is a series of small wins every day. Life is a blessing, so do something significant with it, go out there and change the world.

In Christ,


2 thoughts on “Why being single is the most important time in your life:

Add yours

  1. This speaks to me as I am also at the end of a five year relationship. Where the roller coaster sometimes distracts me but I know that something better is around the corner. This is my third time at starting over and I value the time I have to re-find myself. Its time to work on moving forward.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so glad to hear that. Starting over is the scary part, in order to do that you have to truly let go of what you’re holding on to behind you. Celebrate the small wins, like signing your own lease, or making yourself your favorite dinner for one, etc. Things like that remind you how capable and worthy you are, and enjoy the time while it lasts, take every opportunity to dance like a lunatic in your own home, and get excited about the possibilities that lie before! Thanks for your comment!

      Liked by 1 person

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